This is a blind Let’s Play-through of the classic SNES game Earthbound aka Mother 2.

Did you expect more words that say all the same but consume more of your time? You shouldn’t have read that last sentence, or this one. You could’ve used that time to play Earthbound or Read through my playthrough of the game. Seriously, leave this page immediately. Click on “Chapters” or something and choose a chapter you’d like to start with. You can start with the first if you want, or with any of them. Even the final one. In fact that’s what I do with magazines a lot IF I read them. For some reason I always start from the last page and go through it all the way in reverse order. In fact you could also go through the single chapters in any order you want. I’m cool with that. If you haven’t played the game yourself you should be aware of the fact that spoilers are everywhere, but if you already played the game it doesn’t really matter. Are you still reading this? Get a life. I mean. Go read my stuff. It’s totally rad. Don’t you think it’s totally rad too? You do, right? Because if you didn’t I would cry myself to sleep tonight. I’m tired. I wanted to go to sleep fifteen minutes ago. Why am I writing this? I could be sleeping by now. I should stop writing this immediately. What the hell? I could play Mother 3 by now If I weren’t writing this. I really think I should stop this. Maybe I’ll consider making a LP of Mother 3 as well. Or not. Depends on whether I can stop writing meaningless bullshit any time soon. Seems like I can’t. Well not yet anyway. Earthbound is a splendid game, it’s full of great humor and parodies RPGs just fine. It all starts with some guy called Ness, but I called him Viqer. He’s asleep and then he wakes up. I called that one and remarked so in the first chapter. He then sets out to find the source of the noise that woke him up. It was a meteorite or something. Then he goes back to sleep but gets woken up again by some ass whose name I just couldn’t remember at one particular moment in time and the two of them plus a useless dog go out to find the brother of the ass. They find the brother and a bee. Not. The bee (not) gives some cryptic prophecy to Ness and dies shortly after by hand of the ass’ mother. What a fuckin’ ass. Then the journey begins and with that the accusations of promoting drugs. Ness finds many friends and together they fight for the greater good of justice and love against some kind of universal cosmic destroyer. What the hell!? I could be playing Mother 3 by now. Why am I telling you shit about a game you already know or not. Fuck. I should really stop now. I mean, yeah. I could just copy and paste this whole text by now and no one would ever notice. Are you still reading anyway? Get a life. Yes, I know I’m the one writing this. But I just can’t fall asleep. When you have insomnia you’re never really asleep. Or awake. Only I’m not an insomniac. I just wanted to take the opportunity to paraphrase Fight Club. But this has nothing to do with Earthbound. So… Earthbound is that great game with a guy called Ness and a girl named Paule then there are too other guys called Jeff and Poo.  And they have many adventures. For example the go through a cave. Well many caves. Most of the dungeons are caves of some kind. But there also are… department stores, sewers, pyramids, swamps, fire caves. Oh damn, that was a cave again, right? Let’s just say they are cool caves, okay. One cave is in a living dungeon who calls himself Dungeon Man. I wish I was making that up, but even though I have a vivid and sometimes nonsensical Imagination I just could not come up with Dungeon Man. Or a cup of coffee that wishes me luck on my journey after recapping the plot in a very abridged form with a psychedelic background. Something similar later happens when they take magic cake from a lady who’s loosely related to the plot. However this time the troupe of heroes meet Poo, their fourth and final member. A gorgeous hunk of a man. At least the girls of his home country really dig him. Because he’s some kind of Prince. Then he becomes nothing and goes with the heroes to fight the universal cosmic destroyer of some kind. Oh fuck, I should stop this now. It’s not like this gets me anywhere. I wonder if anyone is reading this? I hope not. Or do I? Well I don’t care whether I hope that or not because I don’t seem to know whether I hope that or not. That probably means I don’t care about it at all. Play Earthbound. But above all read this Let’s Play and not this chuck of text. If you did I’m sorry for wasting your ti-


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