Chapter 16 – Puff, the Magic Dragon

Finally, the four warriors of legend are united!

Hello World! Prepare to be saved.

Hehe, yeah.

So… no idea what to do and the hint-dude is just a bit too expensive… since the museum is nearby why not try getting information from the museum. Like last time… that totally worked. There were some things we ignored, though.

Ohhh, does that mean we accidentally went to the right place on the first try?

Number one advantage of being a pessimist: More pleasant surprises.

Not yet, no

Dead remains of that great period aren’t helping much

It says something about invaders and a pyramid and darkness. I assume the invaders are bad people (everyone but us). And the pyramid is where I have to go to fight the guardians who guard against invaders (not us, the invaders are the evil force of darkness, duh)

In the pyramid we’ll find something to pierce that darkness. Oh, and I have to dance in front of the sphinx.

Yeah, Let’s go right now. No stops at any other museum or anywhere for that matter.

Then we happen across a ringing telephone and pick up

The person on the other end blatantly ignores that I’m not “Mr. Fork”

The guy found something extraordinary… GROUND BREAKING. Mere words could not do it justice. He then identifies himself as Dr. Spoon from the museum in Fourside.


That must be Dr. Spoon. And he wants an autograph of that Venus lady. On an eraser. Or anything else. Otherwise he won’t show us something “extraordinary”.

So we go to Venus’ show to see she even sparkles.

After that we go backstage to get her autograph. On a banana peel.

Yeah, now show us that thing you were nearly orgasming over.

Turns out he found the only entry to the sewers in the whole town. Awesome.

This sucks.

Okay, We’ve been fighting ghosts out of trash cans and rats on our way here, you’d better not be a freakin’ ghost rat!

Oh good, it’s just a Plague Rat of Doom.

Is it just me or are the bosses in this game getting progressively easier?

Maybe it’s just that I now have two people who can cast PSI Freeze in my party. Thanks Pyle, thanks Lol. I mean, the spell pretty much cripples every enemy who’s not immune. Don’t take this as complaining.

Welcome to Magnet Hill. And again the allmighty soundstone records some melody. I should probably try to use the Soundstone in my inventory.

Note to self: Use Soundstone some time.

In that chest over there is the carrot key. By the way.

I wonder how many pictures of us he’s taken by now, and what he does for a living besides photographing and possibly villaining.

Okay, now back to what we wanted to do before that. Pyramid. In Scaraba. We must cross the sea from Summers to get there.

Oh come on, every child knows Kraken is just a glorified octopus.

More pix. Maybe I should make an album.

That’s the harshest swearing I’ve ever seen in a Nintendo game.

Anyway, he’s still a nice guy and offers to take me to Scaraba with his sweet little boat. It’s a free boat ride. I learned that taking free food is bad in this game. But what can possibly be bad about a boat ride? Nothing. I mean, I know Kraken will show up. But that’s just normal. Stuff like that always happens when the heroes travel by boat or ship for the first time. Many consider it rude not to be attacked in such an occasion.

I shall call this the customary surprise attack on the high seas, or something.


Oh, it’s not free…

And there I thought it would advance the plot.

Row, row, row your boat…

Oh, a break is needed. Our captain isn’t feeling so well.

Is it okay again? Good, let’s go.

Suddenly, the world goes dark…

.. and the unspeakable horrors of the high seas arise from the cold grave of the many who came before us.

Not exactly what I expected from a monster called Kraken.



So this is between me and you, Mr. Kraken. A duel to the death. The power of Rock n’ Baseball against your magical fire. Bring it.

Yeah, fucker I wore a fire emblem or some sort of talisman that made me almost immune to fire, and then you even miss half of the time. Take that.

Oh, pity I can’t share that.

Yeah, don’t mess with a kid who’s immune to fire.

And so we arrive in Scaraba. Three of us are dead now. But that’s okay, death is such a minor drawback.


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