Chapter 13 – Snake vs. Monkey

To get to Monotoli we must get Trout-flavored Yogurt, to get Trout-flavored Yogurt we need a Magical Yogurt machine, to get the Magical Yogurt Machine we must go back into the desert into that hole. And that’s where we are now.

I’m afraid I have neither. But the monkeys will only let me through if they get what they want.

Maybe that nearby drug store has the items in question.

Indeed, both of them. We buy them and go back to our monkey friends to make them happy.

Well, let’s first check out the right cave.

WHOAH! Indeed. Wet towels are mighty useful out in the desert.

As amazing as wet towels are, we should now go on.

Goddamn this shit to hell, Goddamnit, Fuck.

That monkey wants a Protein drink, his buddy wants a Pizza.

So we check out that other monkey’s path, You know, the one that wanted a Picnic lunch.

And find a Pizza! Now that’s good, exactly what we need to please that other monkey.

Okay, you know where this is going and how long it might take.

Things we are required to find for monkeys:
– a Skip sandwich
– a Picnic lunch
– a Protein drink
– several Pizzas
– a Wet towel
– a Ruler (so the monkey dame can measure the length of her tail)
– multiple Hamburgers
– a Fresh egg (That one was complicated, because it hatched before we could deliver it, so we had to get another one)
– the King banana

Through a complicated series of talking to monkeys and finding items we manage to get through all this.

At the end of the cave there’s one of those huge iron pencil statues. I don’t have my Pencil eraser with me, so we have to go back out and get it. I have a mushroom on my head, by the way.

Ah, yes. The sweet sound of pencil statues disappearing.

Finally, Talah Rama.
We are the chosen ones, blah, Viqer, Pyle, Joker and Lol, Blah. We’ll bring peace and love back to his blah. Take this Yogurt dispenser blah. Finally, we get what we actually came here for in the first place.

“Learn the skill from the monkey over there…”

Great.

Also: The mushroom is gone now.

Yar, let’s go, teach me teleportation, yo.

Okay, lead the way.

After saying that the monkey runs to Fourside and back.

In order to master that valuable skill we do the same.

Monkey is pleased with the result and goes home.

So, even though Fourside isn’t far I decide we should try that neat new Teleportation skill we just learned.

And run into some rocks.

Seems like we shouldn’t have any obstacles in our way when… “teleporting”.

Indeed, we are now in Fourside.

She takes it and leaves. However…

Oh… we’ll drop by…

We ride the elevator up to the 48th floor.

Time to start our stealth mission to infiltrate Monotoli Tower, we need Codenames. Viqer will be Rockin Snaqe and Jokers alias can be Lolicon, I guess. Let’s call Pyle Merill if we find her.

Rockin Snaqe: Lolicon, we might have a problem here

Lolicon: What is it, Snaqe

Rockin Snaqe: There’s some kind of war-machine here asking me for a secret code “please” within 10 seconds.

Lolicon: I don’t know Snaqe, maybe it’s waiting for three minutes?

Rockin Snaqe: No, ten seconds Lolicon, TEN SECONDS.

Lolicon: I meant the password Snaqe, try waiting for three minutes, maybe it won’t attack.

Rockin Snaqe: Oh, very clever, I’ll try that.

Dumb idea, really.

Some weird guy in there, I think his name might be Johnny.

Rockin Snaqe: Not again!

Lolicon: I pissed my pants Snaqe!

Rockin Snaqe: Oh… well…

Lolicon: I have to tell you something, Snaqe

Rockin Snaqe: Is it something about your mom?

Lolicon: Yes, probably.

Rockin Snaqe: Then don’t say it.

Ah yes, our enemies need names as well. Potty will be…uh… MEAN POOPYHEAD, yes. Perfect.

Rockin Snaqe: Clumsy… Robot…

Lolicon: This thing looks so cheap, I could’ve built it. Aim there, that spot looks especially like I made it.

This thing accidentally almost killed us. Then… “All of a sudden,”

“It was the Runaway Five!”

Oh yeah.

The Runaway Five consist of… Mad Sax, Virtouso Bass, Smashing Percussions, Barry Tone and Joe (plus another guy). Once our sworn enemies they have now allied themselves with us “Misanthropy” an organisation about ruining people’s shit. Sadly, when destroying Clumsy Robot, they had sacrificed themselves.

Or not. Well. On through that door.

Hahaha, that’s “Big Wuss”.

I’m so clever.

Merill’s fine. Turns out Monotoli was being mind controlled by the bad evil statue some way and he’s now on our side. Apparently that statue wanted him to prevent us from going to Summers and some kind of pyramid.

Cool.

Not so cool.

Mean Poopyhead steals our Helicopter. How are we going to get to Summers now?

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