Chapter 7 – The Land Of Ice And Snow

I am still Joker, leaving the warm fuzzy safety of the dorm to set out to save two complete strangers out of a situation the only thing he knows about is a probable direness.

Onward Joker! Pyle and Viqer are in danger! You are the only one who can help them now!

What’s really nice is that there’s a store outside of the walls. I suspect it is there to provide the aspiring saviours of the world with supplies. Because they tend to come out of boarding schools in the middle of the night. That or people are actually free to explore the wilderness during daytime. No need to imprison students, right? But I’m a bad boy, I leave the dorm at night. And so my new characters’ personality is established to be that of a rebel as well. Or insane enough to listen to voices he hears in his sleep.

And purchase a monkey for one buck… technically I bought a pack of the monkey’s favorite brand of bubble gum.

He’ll really just follow me around for the gum.

Which apparently can make him fly.

And so I head out to go all the way down to Threed by foot. After a not so long but also not short trip I reach a lake.

I’m not sure how I’m right because I didn’t assume anything. But several people living in tents wait there for something they call Tessie. It lives in the lake. The lake is called Tess, like Loch Tess, only no Loch.

It’s funny how everyone will assume you’re part of a certain group just because you happen to pass by a place that’s full of those people. Maybe just to get a nice, warm meal in the cold, harsh winter night.

Just like that. After eating I fall asleep. And hear more of the crazy voice of “Joker… Head south… I am Pyle” that tells me I should help the Viqer and the Pyle.

I woke up immediately after that and spent the rest of the night fixing one of the many broken things I carry around with me.

I leave the tent to see bright daylight. It’s bright.

Weird picture dude shows up to take a picture of me. I don’t pose because I’m not Viqer, who’s the only one with a sprite for that.

And suddenly my monkey companion gets a weird idea. I give him some gum. I have an infinite supply of that so he can have as much as he likes.

He flies over to that whirlpool…

and brings forth a purple sea-creature. It’s probably not Tessie, otherwise the people around here would care instead of watching every location but where the purple thing is. I think I’ll call it Nessie, it has a nice ring to it.

I hop onto Nessies back.

Nessie is a nice pet and brings me to the other side of the lake.

Goodbye Nessie!


Pencil shaped statues don’t interest me, I want a short dungeon which has no other purpose than leveling Mr. Joker a bit, because he too started at Level 1.

It is modest indeed, one room with some rocks.

I meet that one guy again, I don’t even care anymore, he’s probably the big bad Giygas himself monitoring my journey or something. While I’m still a rebel only Viqer has the sense of humor to pose for the evil he is out to defeat.

At the end of the dungeon I find a telephone and another sign by Brick Road. The telephone is used for, y’know saving the game. I don’t think I mentioned that yet. Viqer calls his dad to save and other people to do other things. Like hearing his mother’s voice or get his sister who works part-time for Escargo Express to pick up stuff he doesn’t need at the time or get it delivered back. I (Joker) only have one contact. Maxwell, my crazy scientist friend who has the hots for my dad. He does the game saving (Maxwell, not my dad).

Oh, the one who made that thing just now?

I’d say it was about right, difficulty-wise. Considering I started my monster-whacking business only yesterday. Brickroad goes on, he wants to become half dungeon half man with the help of Dr. Andonut, who is my father. That probably means he’s alive. Or another zombie, who knows.

Take that, pencil-shaped iron statue!

Thirty seconds later I find another cave.

More of the kind of cave that’s supposed to level me up.

Thanks to my monkey’s bubble-gum based flying abilities I am able to climb to places I couldn’t reach otherwise.

Oh the fuck, another one of those lights…

Awww shit, more backtracking later on.

The exit’s nearby and I find a steaming hot monkey girl. Of course that’s just what my monkey thinks, I couldn’t ever be attracted to a being that is not of my species.

There he goes. Farewell monkey.

Hello picture dude.

While being photographed by my enemy a hole in the ground in the center of Stonehenge catches my attention.

I can’t go very deep, though, because something that looks like a very large iron eraser is in my way… for some weird reason. So I go back up.

Where I find a lab.

My father’s lab.

He’s the kind of guy who offers you donuts, but doesn’t have any. That’s what I had to learn the hard way just now. Quick, let’s change the topic to my crazy dreams.

The good news are he’s going to help me. The bad news that his instant teleportation device isn’t finished yet and I have to use an old rusty machine he likes to call “Sky Runner” to get to Threed.

Well, bye dad. It was nice seeing you.

I enter the Sky Runner and fly off…

I see some quite interesting places like some town.

Some desert.

Some other to- Oh wait, I have to get off here… I concentrate REAAALLY hard to pinpoint the exact location of Viqer and Pyle.

After some circling around I find the place…

And crash… thus the journey of Joker ends.

Of course not. Did I fool anyone?

“I came because you called me. I’m not very strong, really near-sighted, kind of shy, and I tend to be a little reckless. This is just the way I am…”

Yeah, I’d really like to know what would have happened if I answered with “No” though. He’d maybe ignore it or bug me until I say yes.

Joker saves us!

Now we can stop the zombie plague!!!


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