Chapter 1 – Prologue

The Year is 199x

Onett, a small town in Eagleland

Viqer’s house…

Here I am, asleep.

I guess I’m going to wake up soon.


Apparently some noise woke me up. I better check it out.

Yes it did, my dear what I assume to be my sister.

I will now take a CRACKED BAT out of that present box in your room. Thanks.

„What was that noise? Viqer, you don’t seem scared. Are you nuts? And now you want to go check it out? …oh … okay.“

There are no bad children, just bad parents.

„You’ll sneak out of your room anyway, even if I asked you not to.“

So the character of my silent protagonist is established as being a rebel.

I say a quick hello to my lazy dog, Batman, before I leave the house to check this shit out.

The cops seem to have shit under control, though… The road is already blocked.

And They „are going for the world record…“ Another cop informs me that „People are taking this meteorite situation too seriously!“ Then a few meters up the hill another guy asks me whether I heard the big bang, and he thinks a meteorite landed nearby.

So apparently that noise was a meteorite. I guess aliens are involved.

Which is pretty much what the title screen implied.

No, It IS dangerous to go alone, but I have a cracked bat. So I’m fine.

Besides, the cops already know I’m such a rebel because he adds „Even if I advise you not to go, it won’t stop you, will it“

That’s exactly the attitude the police need to have to keep this town clean

And so I arrive at the next roadblock… three policemen and a morbidly obese kid. I wonder what they’re up to.

No, I’m going home now.

Yeah, but I’m doing it because I want to, not because you’re telling me to.

.And later that night, when I finally fell asleep, some idiot knocks at the door.

Can’t YOU answer the goddamn door, sis? What about you mom? Batman? Fuck this shit, where’s my bat.

Oh, it’s that kid from before, apparently he’s called Porky, Pokey or something. I don’t know what he said anymore because there was so much blah. Something about his brother, called „Picky“, being somewhere and I should go get him for him. Which is of course what I do. Because I must.

Before I go I get myself dressed, a sarcastic comment by mom, a cookie from my sister and Batman, who’s coming with me. That kid is following me too.

Not too far from my house I run into my first battle. Which is not random. Very commendable.

I’m fighting a dog now and I assume the background can be explained as an effect of the cookie my sister gave me. Batman takes a bite out of him and I hit him with my trusty bat. The dog dies… or as the game puts it „becomes tame“.

What do you mean? I picked fire as my favorite food, why can’t I just eat those fires and replenish my HP?
Great, Batman ran off…

Anyway, we find Picky behind a tree, sleeping. So we woke him. Turns out he was looking for HIS brother, who wet his pants and ran away. Pokey didn’t bother changing his pants before he came to my house. We decide to go back… but… what’s this?

Great, a talking bee traveling via rays of light. I should stop taking cookies from my sis. Mr. Beeman goes on „not“ and tells me he’s 10 years from the future. Which is probably bleak and I’m John Connor. The bee confirms exactly that about two seconds later. But there are three other John Connors, two boys and a girl. And I really hope the two guys behind me aren’t John Connor. And the bad evil force of evilness is called „Giygas, the universal cosmic destroyer“ and that is terrible. I suppose I have to destroy that universal cosmic destroyer with the power of love and friendship.

Part of it, I’ll go with yes.

Mr. Beeman aka Buzz Buzz seems pleased and joins my party.

Aaaand we go home.

Oh no! An Ambush! An old friend of you Mr. Beeman? Or Ms.?

Oh shit, is that bee my future self or someone I know? And he’ll stomp it hard? I can’t let this happen.

Epic battle to the death. I’m wondering how much of this is actually real. I honestly can’t tell.

Ms. Beeman casts mighty protective magic on me. I’m invincible. For real. Usually I would die just for saying that, but that obviously isn’t the case. I’m not going to tempt fate another time, though.

I even gained a level.

After that Mr. or Ms. Beeman more or less informs me that shit is gonna happen. By that s/he means that everything will flip the fuck out to kill me now. Gosh.

So I take Pokerky and Picky back to their house.

Sure enough, their mom’s pretty mad about her boys being out that late. Grounded forever.

I was going to do exactly that, when all of a sudden…

Mr. Beeman…

„Much weaker than I thought“, Mr. Beeman would go on, or it was one high-level momma.

„So you must now begin your adventure…’“

Yeah, what? „Listen to my final words“ Next thing I remember was something about having to unite with the Earth’s, like, I dunno. Power spots??? And I’ll have to do that  to defeat Giygas. The earth would then channel my/our power and multiply it, probably with one if I’m not lucky. There are also eight places I must make my own. These places are called „Your Sanctuary“. One of those „Your Sanctuary“s is conveniently placed near my hometown in a place called Giant’s Step.

What horrible pains this little creature has to endure. Just a little longer my trooper, It’ll be over soon.

Oh, sweet. Thanks.

It’s one of those old cassette Recorders, I can record melodies from the uuuh… „Your Sanctuary“s.

Oh you poor little thing.

So he repeated the story to me one more time.

And then…

NOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOoooooOOoooo-[cut off, cue credits]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: