Chapter 0 – Pre-Prologue

Sooooo… Earthbound. I heard people talk about it like it’s a good game, so I decided to check it out. Keep in mind that I haven’t played the game yet. Spoil it and I’ll kill you (Disclaimer, I do not plan on killing anybody, just get very angry at people)

I’m gonna skip the title screen mumbo jumbo and get straight to the sweet part.

Naming my hero!

At first I wanted to call him Ness, because he kinda looks like that one guy from the Smash Bros. series, y’know? But then I chose „Don’t care“ and it suggested Ness. I am truly in shock. I totally didn’t know that guy was THE Ness. Or I very convincingly pretended so.

So I picked a cool name instead.

Viqer turns around in Disgust. Geddit? Like Viper, the name for biker gang rejects, only with a reverse p for extra edginess.

Hey, more of this, is she my girlfriend? She kinda looks like the stereotypical blonde girl character. And the game suggests the name „Paula“… which immediately reminds me of…

Pvt. Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. If you get that reasoning you probably saw the German version of that movie.

More names? What the shit? Anyway, now that I mentioned Full Metal Jacket this guy reminds me of some character with glasses from that flick

He’s probably stereotypically nerdy or smartassish. ‘Cause you know, he totally looks like he’s exactly that.

Oh… Guess that’s our fourth man, yeah I know there’s a girl, but let’s look what kinda name the game suggests.

Hell NO!

He looks like a Martial Artist of some sorts, And I always call martial artists… wait for it…

It can be a great name in RPGs if it works with the dialogue.

Name my pet. MY. GODDAMN. PET. Why is it a dog? I’m more of a cat-person. More importantly, why can I choose a name with six letters? Unlike my player characters who all have to live with just five?

He’d better live up to that name.

My favorite Homemade food now, is it? I wonder why the game needs that information.

Naturally, I’d pick Chili, because I like Chili and I like it hot… very hot. In fact…

But even more’s to come

Okay, that’s a tough one. I considered picking „Rug“ ’cause it really ties the room together, but then I listened to the suggestion of the game for once.

Hell yeah!

That’s it, no more naming to do. It’s hard to pick names for people, or dogs, or food. And especially my favorite thing, but the game really helped me with that one. I wonder what wacky adventures this troupe of adventurers and other things will have. Only time will tell…


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